


You had your chance

by Jimin



Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: M/M, wut??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 07:59:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimin/pseuds/Jimin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been over a year since they last met. A year in which Yongguk never forgot who Junhong was and Junhong never thought who Yongguk is. <br/>But this time, instead of letting him break him again, Yongguk leaves. He leaves because Junhong isn't worth it. He never was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You had your chance

**Author's Note:**

> this was kind of inspired by quintus horatius flaccus's poem to lydia.

It was a rather cold day for the end of May. Junhong was reluctant to leave his apartment, since it might rain. “They said so on the weather forecast, Jongup. We're not going out.” But the elder doesn't listen. His long fingers wrap around Junhong’s pale wrist and pull him up with enough force to rip the arm out.

“Please, I want to eat something.” His eyes water and he looks like he might cry, but Junhong sees right through it. The elder was good at faking tears and after being with the younger for six months he realized that puppy pouts and watery eyes was the easiest way of getting what he needed.

Junhong throws his hands in the air and sighs. “Fine, fine. We'll go out.” His eyes darken when the younger's tears disappear in a mere blink and he points a finger under his nose. “But if it starts to rain you pay for the cab.”

And Jongup agrees because he was obedient and he never knew how to stand up to Junhong, though sometimes when he was drunk he would get right through the younger in a not so mannered way leaving a few bruises here and there. “Alright, alright, I will. Just put something on, I’m starving.”

Maybe it was the fact that he knew nothing about the other - it could have easily been just a shadow casting over Junhong's face – but the younger boy looked so unhappy and annoyed that he had to spend time with Jongup. Sometimes it seemed like he was doing this just to receive pleasure at the end of the day, or maybe a foot massage Jongup was oh so good at.

They dated for only a few months, and in those Junhong never really spoke of his past, he only once mentioned he has a brother but that was all Jongup knew. Though, the weird person in their relationship wasn’t Junhong, but Jongup. He always seemed so nice and good, but the moment he tasted alcohol he would turn into a beast that sought for a fight.

-

Youngjae's face was pushed deep into the pillow that he used to sleep on. Saliva dripped down the side of his mouth as it refused to close. Moans slipped out of them as the elder behind him rocked his hips harder and faster, reaching deeper with each thrust.

A groan slips out of Yongguk's lips when his hips brush against Youngjae's clenching walls. He knows the younger one is near his release so he slows his thrusts to a mere rocking of the two bodies and tangles his fingers into the younger's dishevelled hair and tugs on it.

“Youngjae-ah,” he whispers against the younger's ear, voice thick and lust filled, “moan for me.”

Youngjae is obedient, like always. His voice soon fills the room, echoes against the thin walls. Yongguk's body trembles when the younger screams out his name. His hand finds his way around to Youngjae’s cock and slowly tugs on it, making the boy below him curse under his breath.

The heated muscles that are wrapped around Yongguk’s cock clench one last time and Youngjae is coming all over Yongguk's hand and sheets that are spread below them. White dots fill Youngjae’s eyes and he lets his head fall back against the fluffy pillow. Groan slips through Yongguk's lips as he also reaches his height, head falls back and hips push forwards once again. He rocks his body desperately against Youngjae's a few more times to ride his orgasm out before he pulls out.

The two fall on the clean side of their king sized bed once they part. Yongguk's hands wrap around Youngjae's waist and he pulls him in; kisses the top of the younger's head and murmurs softly against it, “You were amazing.” His words are soft and small, but Youngjae doesn’t mind them because it’s been eight weeks since the last time Yongguk came with a stranger’s name on his lips instead of his.

Youngjae only laughs at it and presses his back harder against Yongguk's chest, hands reach back to press their lower halves even closer. “You weren't bad either,” he responds, voice hoarse, but a hint of pride.

They rest for a couple of minutes before Yongguk's stomach grumbles and the elder shifts away from Youngjae. His face is slowly reddening when he lift himself up from the bed.

“You hungry?” The younger asks and lifts himself onto his elbows, staring at the elder's back in the bathroom.

“A bit, yeah.”

A sound of sheets ruffling is heard behind Yongguk; hands are soon wrapped around his waist and a small kiss is planted on his shoulder. “We’ll go eat at the restaurant down the streets. Let's just take a shower first.”

The shower is short and cold. They both shiver when they step out. Youngjae wants to be affectionate and he feels like he is allowed to, so he snuggles against Yongguk’s back when they step out the shower, but Yongguk only pushes him away with a harsh, “Go get dressed.”

-

It's not like it was Junhong's fault Jongup ate shrimps. He didn't even know how to read Japanese in the first place. The only thing he did was to order Jongup what he asked for while he was in the restroom.

“I’ll leave, you eat up,” Jongup reassures and stands up from the table, holding his stomach with one hand and the other one is tightly wrapped around the keys of their rented apartment. “It would be rude to leave all the food and it would be a waste of money.” The smile that is spread over Jongup's lips is forced, but Junhong doesn't fight it. He really needed some time without the elder. The amount of time they spent together made his mind all clogged up.

“Yeah, sure.” There aren't any emotions in his answer, just pure politeness and his eyes seem so cold when he looks up at Jongup and smiles at him. “I’ll hurry up to check up on you.”

With a nod Jongup leaves the small restaurant and dashes to their apartment not knowing this was the last time he ever saw Junhong.

Just as the doors closed behind Jongup, two male figures walk inside. Yongguk holds the doors for Youngjae, making the younger one blush in embarrassment. It was these small things that made Youngjae fall for the elder. The things no one really noticed but made his cheeks heat up and his lips to stretch out in a smile.

“Thank you,” se shyly says and scoots over to the table.

The table they sit at is on the further part of the one Junhong sits at. Youngjae is turned away from Junhong and Yongguk is right in Junhong’s line on fight.

The younger notices him first. His fingers are wrapped around the wooden chopsticks; small piece of meat hangs on the further edge of it. His eyes scan to room and fall on a couple of all too familiar lips. They part as a piece of rice is being shoved inside. Junhong can't help but gulp remembering all those times when those plum lips were wrapped around his cock; times when those lips would spread out into a sly smile and would press against his.

He isn’t sure how long it has been since they last met. It must have been a year now, but he never could have forgotten him, not him.

It doesn't take long for Yongguk to meet Junhong's eyes. They land on the younger's just as he was swallowing down the meat that he had been poking around his plate. His eyes widen when he recognizes Junhong, but then only a second later his eyes shift away and he lowers his head, a faint blush tints his cheeks and his lips stretch out into a grin. It is the same one that Junhong remembers seeing when they would kiss in a public place and Yongguk would get embarrassed, or when they only first met and Yongguk was far too shy to approach Junhong because he feared rejection.

Youngjae seems to be completely oblivious of the staring contest the two past lovers held. He ate his food and rambled to Yongguk about all the places they yet need to visit.

Junhong did his best to swirl his tongue around the meat he ate earning muffed swears from Yongguk. He couldn’t hear them but judging by the way the elder would lower his head and fist his palms it was sure he was cursing, Junhong just wondered what. He wondered if the elder was mad at himself for not being able to resist him, or was he swearing because he was there with someone else.

“Are you alright?” Youngjae asks when Yongguk releases a whine. He lowers his chopsticks and reaches out to touch Yongguk. He looks worried, borderline scared.

Yongguk pulls his hand away and stands up. “Yeah, I just need to use the restroom.” He rushes trough the restaurant to reach his destination before the younger's eyes could follow him. Truthfully he feared to hurt Youngjae. He was far too good for him, and he was far too hurt by him. All those times he would moan out Junhong’s name whilst having sex with Youngjae must have felt like a slap to the face to the younger.

Resting his head against the wall in the humid restroom, Yongguk releases a long sigh. He wished all of this would happen to someone else. He really didn’t like to be called a cheater, and with Junhong here that is the exact thing he’ll become. He wanted to run away, run and hide, but the window on the wall above the stall was a bit too small for his body and the only other exit was trough the restaurant.

Whilst Yongguk is lost in his thoughts, trying to think of a way to make this better, to run away without making himself any worse in Youngjae’s eyes, Junhong walks in.

It's a bit awkward at first. Yongguk tries his best not to look at the younger. He wants to look somewhere else, but the restroom was quite small and they each took up quite a lot of space. And Junhong smiled at him so brightly that he felt his knees weaken and his stomach to twist. He really was an angel.

“So,” Junhong starts and leans against the stall doors, smile still on his lips, “how have you been?”

Yongguk shifts uncomfortably, fingers curl into his sleeves as check him out, head to toe. He was taller, thinner too, since the last time they saw each other. But in a sense he was much more beautiful. His smile stayed the same and his eyes too.

“I-I’m fine,” he manages to mumble out. “Y-you? Anything new in your life, Junhong?” the younger’s name on his tongue after all this time felt strange. It tasted a bit sour and Yongguk couldn’t recognize it.

It was too long.

The smile that Junhong had on his lips slips down and he turns his head away. “I miss you,” he says, swallowing the tears. “A lot.”

Yongguk thinks it isn’t fair. The hurt look Junhong gives him when he looks at him and the tears that spill down his cheeks. He shouldn’t have to look at him like that. It was no longer his to be looked at, so he turned away. “I’m,” he says through his teeth, “I’m not letting you do this again,” and storms out of the restroom. He pulls Youngjae up on his feet and throws a few bills onto the table before he rushes them out of the restaurant.

He couldn’t let Junhong fool him like this twice. He couldn’t.

“Yongguk, what is going on?!” Youngjae’s voice comes to Yongguk’s ears, sweet like never before, and scared.

He turns around to look the younger in the eyes and be honest for the first time in a while. “Let’s leave, please. I’m still haunted by him and can’t let him win again, Youngjae. I can’t. ”

The younger isn’t sure what Yongguk talked about. He isn’t sure what Yongguk wanted, but still pressed his lips against the elders and whispered a small, “I’m all yours,” against them.

It was cowardly, yes, but it also was the only way Yongguk knew to deal with this. He had to run, or he’ll get involved with Junhong again, and it already proved fatal twice.

He and Junhong were soul mates, yes, but they couldn’t be together for more than six months. The magic between them couldn’t last as much as Yongguk wanted it to.

Junhong was sweet and caring, but he hated to keep in one place, hated to always be around the same people, and Yongguk couldn’t bare new people in his life, in his bed, in Junhong. He couldn’t keep calm while Junhong brought new people to ‘entertain’ them in bed. He just couldn’t live like that. So he left, he left and tried to move on, but it was in vain. Junhong would come to him, tell him he missed him, he would cry even if it was needed because a part of him didn’t want to lose Yongguk, part of him even loved him.

For six months it felt like he changed, but then one night he got drunk and brought home one of his friends. He didn’t even notice when Yongguk left, didn’t even care, until it was far too late.

“I always wanted to go to Paris,” Yongguk mumbles against Youngjae’s lips as they lie on their bed later that night.

Youngjae smiles and pulls away. His eyes glisten in the dim light as he takes Yongguk’s hand in his. “I really like you, Yongguk. Please don’t hurt me.”

Yongguk hesitates for a second before he presses Youngjae’s palm against his cheek. “I’ll do my best not to.” And that was true. He’ll never love him as much as he loves Junhong, though he could try to. 


End file.
